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Funny Jokes
A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down outside a bar on the street curb.
A police officer watched him closely. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the police and asked, 'Hey, Mr. Policeman, what causes arthritis?'
The policeman responded, 'It's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.'
'Well, I'll be darn,' the drunk said, returning to his paper.
The police officer, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man with his night stick and apologized.
'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'
'I don't have it, Mr. Policeman. I was just reading here that the chief of police does'.0comments (0)'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman.'
The priest sighs. 'Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?'
'Yes, Father, 'tis I.'
'And who might be the woman you were with?'
'I shan't be tellin' you, Father. It would ruin her reputation.'
'Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Map of coushatta casino. Was it Brenda O'Malley?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Lisa O'Shanter?'
'I'm sorry, but I'll not name her.'
'Was it Cathy O'Dell?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Fiona Mallory, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O' Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've more..1comments (0)A brunette, redhead, and blonde were sitting at a bar, sharing small talk over a few beers. Somehow the conversation turns to sex. They give each other tips on blow jobs, and what feels the best when having the man return the favor.
Talk continues until 'looseness' comes up. The brunette brags, 'I'm so loose, you could put your fist in me!' The redhead scoffs at the brunette and says 'I'm so loose, you could put your head in me!' They look to the blonde waiting. She just laughs and slides over the barstool.0comments (0)A few guppies short of an aquarium. A few inches short of a foot/yard. A few kernels short of an ear. A few kopeks short of a ruble. A few links shy of a chain. A few measures short of a staff. A few open splices. A few peas short of a pod/casserole. A few pickles short of a jar. A few pies short of a holiday. A few planes short of an Air Force / hangar. A few points short of a polygon. Ninja craps review. A few revisions behind. A few sandwiches/apples/ants short of a picnic. A few screws loose. A few shrimps short of a barbie. A few spoons short of a full set. A few straws shy of a bale. A few tiles missing from his space shuttle. A few tiles short of a successful re-entry. A few too many lights out in his Christmas tree. A few volts below threshold. A few yards short of the hole. A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and.. What was the question? A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum. A more..0comments (0)A pirate was talking to a 'land-luvver' in a bar.
The land-luvver noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye.
The land-luvver just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.
He asked the pirate, 'How did you loose your leg?'
The pirate responded, 'I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!'
His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, 'What about your hand. Legend of nezha. Did you loose it at the same time?'
'No,' answered the pirate. 'I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys.'
Finally, the land-luvver asked, 'I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you loose your eye?'
The pirate answered, 'I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye.'
The land-luvver asked, 'How could a little seagull crap make you loose your more..0comments (0)- Add a Useful Link
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Loose machines are surrounded by tight machines. The reasoning behind this myth is that many players like to play more than one machine at a time.If a loose machine is surrounded by a tight machine a player will give back the winnings from the loose machine if they simultaneously play the machines on either side. Back in 2002, our pub landlord bet £10,000 on Brazil to lose against Germany in the World Cup final. If you do not train during the week, you will lose on Saturday. More about 'Loose' and More Examples 'Loose,' which rhymes with moose, is an adjective meaning 'not tight,' 'not dense,' or 'free from constraint.'
How To Make An Elastic Looser Or More Loose
Jul 11, 2013 Zur deutschen Version dieses Posts wechseln Loose, lose, looser, and loser often cause problems among both native and non-native speakers. The reason is quite obvious: their spelling and pronunciation are rather similar. Just by counting the number of o’s, we can guess that lose and loser are related, as are loose and looser. However, theRead More. Is it looser or more loose? Asked by Wiki User. Anonymous Answered. 2020-08-02 21:-08-02 21:43:09. Share on Pinterest. Loose stools may be caused by diets that are high in coffee.